Monday 20 th January 2014...

(Borrowed from Google Images)

Well I have been naughty :(  

Sorry for not blogging but I have a good reason....

I have been thinking...

I will tell you now that this whole thing with my knee has got me down.  Really down... and yes I sunk low and nearly lost the plot.  See I could not see a way out, I know my knee is not going to get better and I basically resigned myself to just getting fat as I could not do anything about it.  I know its really bad of me to just give up like that... the pain in my knee at times it really unbearable and I am SO not coping with it.

I guess I thought there was no way out and I know I need to exercise to lose weight... how could I possibly exercise being in so much pain?  And that is what I have been fighting with.  This dragged me down to a really low point, I thought all that effort for what?  To just give in now just because I have pain ok a lot of pain and discomfort in my knee?! hmmm 

I guess I needed to be low to realize that I can still do this... I just need to be focused and dedicated and I know I will get through this and come out the other side.  It was yesterday just before midnight I actually realized this!  I was feeling fed up with myself and unmotivated and something in me just snapped and I said to myself ... Only you can do this... 

I know I have it in me as I have come this far.. I need to find something extra to get over this hurdle.  I sat up till the early hours with a load of amazing ideas running around my head... I dare say if I had gone to bed I would not of been able to of sleep.  I needed a new focus.. to motivate myself again.  So I took a little note book and wrote the days of the week inside it and with breakfast, lunch, dinner... exercise and notes... I guess its a kind of way of keeping tabs on myself!  Sounds crazy but I need something to try to keep me on track.

Here is my book...

Inside for today...

And my amazing soup I made....

I had 2 bowls of this as it tasted that good!  I think its probably the best one I have made yet!  (Think I will take some to college tomorrow)  So do you want to know what I put into it?.... water... 1/4 tin of copped tomato's, whole tin of mixed beans.  Carrots, cauliflower, broccoli, curly kale, white cabbage and lots of chilli powder.  Its a spicy one but really tasty.

I am in a happier place now .... feel positive and ready to carry on :)

I have college all day tomorrow, 10 am until 9 pm... so I may not update my blog until Wednesday?  I guess it depends on how I feel after I get home.

Forgot to show you my up date of my stitching... its coming along nicely :)

And I am off to do something I should of got round to sooner... the pool!  Will post photo and tell you how it went later :)

Still smiling :)  :)

Back from the pool!! OMG I WENT!!! :)

So well it was not as bad as I thought it would be...I managed to walk up and down the pool side wards and front wards 15 times and then supported my arms in a corner (kind of prop myself up) and moved my legs as if on a bicycle ... then I stood on the step and relaxed my bad leg and gently raised and lowered several times.  This was all as instructed by the physio!  After all that I then went for a soak in the hot tub and then in the steam room to finish off.  I actually really enjoyed it and feel really happy.  It is true what they say... exercise does release happy endorphin's :)  

And another GOOD thing is, I weighed myself.... I thought I had better as I was worried I might of put a load back on whilst being in active.  Well I was VERY pleasantly surprised... I am exactly the same!  I think its GREAT!! and a real boost for me :)

Look the weather outside this evening is cold and foggy..

And here is me!  A selfie of me on the way out!  Its not a very good one as the hoody I have on it massive!  But I like it as its very comfortable!  And wet hair! 

Feeling REALLY good about myself and I WILL be going again! :)